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Hey there. I’m the host of Steam Punks on ABC3, i’m the video game critic for TheVine.com.au, I blog about games for MMGN, and I spent four years doing nerd stuff on Triple J Breakfast. This site will contain some of my writing, some of the webcomics I’ve done, and loads of reblogs of junk I dig. You can follow me on twitter (@paulverhoeven), Vine and Facebook if you like, but otherwise, enjoy my sweet, sweet tumblrings. Which actually sounds like a part of the human butt. But isn’t.


There will be repeated, unapologetic references to Doctor Who, Carlton Banks, explosions and semen. So if you’ve ever wanted a guide, a series of lessons for those hard-to-reach places, this is it.

How good are butts. Seriously.




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</description><title>LESSONS FOR CHILDREN</title><generator>Tumblr (3.0; @lessonsforchildren)</generator><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/</link><item><title>Hi, I just wanted to say that your video on why you think Elementary is better than Sherlock is completely awesome! I'm glad that others are seeing that it has a great plot, amazing characterization, and aren't just knocking it as a ripoff.</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Thankyou! It’s the kneejerk nature of most people’s reactions that bothers me; those who flatly refuse to watch it, or push past the first few episodes.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53254969544</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53254969544</guid><pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:47:29 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>The video you made about Elementary was absolutely perfect because you said everything I could never really put into words. Thank you! I especially agree with the part about the relationship  between Holmes and Watson. I find it so much more exciting and fulfilling to see the two bonding and becoming friends, the way they do in elementary. I also agree 100% on the point that Moffat does not know how to create long story arcs. (see also the last three doctor who seasons)</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Thanks! It is wonderful to watch evolve, isn’t it? The pace at which it happens is far, far better than the pace Moffat and co. employ in Who.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53254855296</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53254855296</guid><pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:45:40 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Just saw your post about getting hold of Star Wars in it's original glory. May I recommend a quick Google for 'Star Wars Despecialized', some fans have done a rather lovely job of restoring the originals into full HD glory. They look amazing, even with some of the dodgy special effects ;)</title><description>&lt;p&gt;EXCELLENT call there. I still have a VHS of A New Hope that my dad accidentally stole when I was four.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53220090386</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53220090386</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:36:34 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>WHERE THE HELL AM I?!</title><description>&lt;iframe src="//www.tumblr.com/video/lessonsforchildren/53219805402/400" id="tumblr_video_iframe_53219805402" class="tumblr_video_iframe" width="400" height="400" style="display:block;background-color:transparent;overflow:hidden;" allowTransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;WHERE THE HELL AM I?!&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53219805402</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53219805402</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:32:50 -0400</pubDate><category>self</category><category>vine</category></item><item><title>I just saw your post on why you love Star Wars, and I think that it's quite lovely. I am the only person on the planet who hasn't seen them, but I might be inspired to do so now. (Also may I have your accent please?)</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Hello there! That’s lovely of you to say, so thanks. I highly recommend finding (*cough* downloading) 4, 5 and 6 in their untampered-with forms, as in, before they were horribly mangled in the late nineties. Seriously, they were molested and you should watch the untarnished originals! Also, no, you may not. :0&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191487115</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191487115</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:41:35 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>hey man, nice face and brain and stuff. also, how's Bear town coming along?</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Hey man, thanks for the compliments. Always love those! It’s fine, I guess, I wanted to get more videos out before hitting you all up with chapter two!&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191420881</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191420881</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:39:54 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Hey my 7 year old sister (and me) absolutely love Steam Punks, I mainly watch for your jokes that she doesn't hahah, please keep up the great work though :)</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Awwww! Thanks so much! You guys are the absolute best. I’m actually co-hosting Studio 3 on ABC3 in a few weeks, in character! I’ll post info on it soon. I have to be up at 5am to do my first of several days shooting back in the costume, actually!&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191404249</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191404249</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:39:27 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>You should be the next Doctor with the beard. Because it is a majestic beard.</title><description>&lt;p&gt;And you can be my companion. Deal?&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191252608</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191252608</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:35:30 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Hello! I've recently found your videos on Doctor Who, and I have to say that I agree with every point you've made. You're calm, and you know what you want and don't want, and stuff. I was wondering, though, what do you think of Clara's plot line? Did you like it? Okay, that's all.</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Hey! I appreciate that, I really do. I think Clara’s plotline is typically Moffat; decent kickoff, crap in the long run. I have no major beefs with her anymore though, I just want Moffat to get his head in the game and stop with all the idiotic tricks and parlor games, and do some actual character work with this potentially wonderful companion.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191246854</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191246854</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:35:21 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Putting an extra h in Jonny is my most made mistake. So seeing you make the same mistake kind of created a special bond for me.</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Hah! Thanks. I feel it. *fist bump*&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191180943</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53191180943</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:33:38 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>you're beautiful</title><description>&lt;p&gt;STAHP&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53190812362</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53190812362</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:23:52 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>electricalice:

mrsbeefheart:

I fukin love 14th century art art because everyone looks so shady and...</title><description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://electricalice.tumblr.com/post/53108251367/mrsbeefheart-i-fukin-love-14th-century-art-art" target="_blank"&gt;electricalice&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://mrsbeefheart.tumblr.com/post/52091517231/i-fukin-love-14th-century-art-art-because-everyone" target="_blank"&gt;mrsbeefheart&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I fukin love 14th century art art because everyone looks so shady and suspicious of ppl around them its AMAZING&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt="image" src="http://media.tumblr.com/49abd6fd6d0d108e99dfe08df40c28d0/tumblr_inline_mnua3rsEhL1qz4rgp.png"/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt="image" src="http://media.tumblr.com/236b3ebbb52b53589ebff1e2090719b6/tumblr_inline_mnua3x4MML1qz4rgp.png"/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt="image" src="http://media.tumblr.com/22df8a3fada0e041d35c0a56c28963b4/tumblr_inline_mnua44FDqQ1qz4rgp.png"/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;or just like they know something u dont and oh my gdfuck i cant&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I believe the highest point is reached in Simone Martini’s Annunciation&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt="image" src="http://media.tumblr.com/72bdea8f04372dd4144c7edd11873ea4/tumblr_inline_mohkd6xxwg1qz4rgp.jpg"/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;and the look of absolute hatred Mary and Gabriel exchange. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt="image" src="http://media.tumblr.com/7fcc5cac0276dd340c8157cd7f9933e9/tumblr_inline_mohkkzQQhN1qz4rgp.jpg"/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt="image" src="http://media.tumblr.com/009acb566f7757fb451cc8c9734fa085/tumblr_inline_mohklrm7VL1qz4rgp.jpg"/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53182949632</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53182949632</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 04:19:15 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>lessonsforchildren:

Why I think Elementary is better than...</title><description>&lt;iframe width="400" height="299" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/rcUeOvlkHFw?wmode=transparent&amp;autohide=1&amp;egm=0&amp;hd=1&amp;iv_load_policy=3&amp;modestbranding=1&amp;rel=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53165993957/why-i-think-elementary-is-better-than-sherlock-am" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank"&gt;lessonsforchildren&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;Why I think Elementary is better than Sherlock! AM I wrong?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Oh, so I totally misspelt Jonny by jamming an H in there. Still, would love to hear what you think of my video discussing why I think Elementary is better than Sherlock!&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53182813852</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53182813852</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 04:15:15 -0400</pubDate><category>sherlock</category><category>elementary</category><category>jonny lee miller</category><category>lucy liu</category><category>steven moffat</category></item><item><title>Photo</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/e7c8fa11520c8bb61b6769202fc5b863/tumblr_mf1a026VsM1qzp9yqo1_500.png"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53178460535</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53178460535</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 02:28:00 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Why I think Elementary is better than Sherlock! AM I wrong?</title><description>&lt;iframe width="400" height="299" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/rcUeOvlkHFw?wmode=transparent&amp;autohide=1&amp;egm=0&amp;hd=1&amp;iv_load_policy=3&amp;modestbranding=1&amp;rel=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;Why I think Elementary is better than Sherlock! AM I wrong?&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53165993957</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53165993957</guid><pubDate>Sun, 16 Jun 2013 23:12:35 -0400</pubDate><category>Elementary</category><category>Sherlock</category><category>Steven Moffat</category><category>benedict cumberbatch</category><category>Lucy Liu</category></item><item><title>irritationknot:

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992)

“Through...</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/6f9eaf76a4bda3d3e2684bad14185a37/tumblr_mo7fe2dBnn1qm8qeao1_250.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/d34c809d268936ccdd509cd0bdbb268d/tumblr_mo7fe2dBnn1qm8qeao2_250.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/286b71b404f646e4ca9868e3ab96fbf1/tumblr_mo7fe2dBnn1qm8qeao5_250.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/6defaf7b4f67a6c9be21755bb4dcb30b/tumblr_mo7fe2dBnn1qm8qeao6_250.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/e0f6478bce21a549fda2523a4fe963cc/tumblr_mo7fe2dBnn1qm8qeao8_250.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/a4fae6da8e90ab9bd441aa68b7023303/tumblr_mo7fe2dBnn1qm8qeao7_250.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/283f843953f632ae3f0e40041f940b1f/tumblr_mo7fe2dBnn1qm8qeao3_250.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/0b6fe75a03075cf580b896f7177cc3d1/tumblr_mo7fe2dBnn1qm8qeao4_250.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://irritationknot.tumblr.com/post/52671503398/twin-peaks-fire-walk-with-me-1992-through" target="_blank"&gt;irritationknot&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;&lt;em&gt;Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;sub&gt;“Through the darkness of futures past, the magician longs to see. One chants out between two worlds: ‘fire, walk with me.’”&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53147781132</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53147781132</guid><pubDate>Sun, 16 Jun 2013 18:56:06 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>My Imperial Agent in The Old Republic. Once you strip away the...</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/129bbe479f1a0251b159219a07b3fb33/tumblr_mohhhpG1Ig1qd0t6fo1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;My Imperial Agent in The Old Republic. Once you strip away the grind and microtransactions, this game is really, really well written. And, you know. Fun.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53105737722</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53105737722</guid><pubDate>Sun, 16 Jun 2013 07:34:37 -0400</pubDate><category>The Old Republic</category><category>Star Wars</category><category>Bioware</category><category>Imperial Agent</category></item><item><title>Evangelion summarised: self pitying crybaby makes an increasingly impenetrable show about a self...</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Evangelion summarised: self pitying crybaby makes an increasingly impenetrable show about a self pitying crybaby. Also, some robots.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53082743363</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53082743363</guid><pubDate>Sun, 16 Jun 2013 01:45:57 -0400</pubDate><category>neon genesis evangelion</category><category>daddy issues</category><category>anime</category></item><item><title>Why I like Star Wars.</title><description>&lt;p&gt;Piles of books, comics, games and the movies, and this is what I&amp;#8217;ve realised:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;The thing I love about Star Wars is that the Jedi and Sith are basically both fundamentalists. It&amp;#8217;s everyone around them that suffers. It&amp;#8217;s ostensibly a parable about what happens when idiotically rigid religious institutions deeply infused with the state ruin things on a galactic scale.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span&gt;Maybe that&amp;#8217;s why I love Han so much; he actively embraces chaos and ambiguity. He denies. He&amp;#8217;s like the sexiest atheist ever.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53078752125</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53078752125</guid><pubDate>Sun, 16 Jun 2013 00:39:00 -0400</pubDate><category>Star Wars</category><category>Han Solo</category><category>Sith</category><category>Jedi</category><category>Personal</category></item><item><title>The rap party has started and I am party boy</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/a3ac01fb8584a865d134c2742c3be345/tumblr_mofgp385lc1qd0t6fo1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;The rap party has started and I am party boy&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53013658087</link><guid>http://lessonsforchildren.tumblr.com/post/53013658087</guid><pubDate>Sat, 15 Jun 2013 05:22:14 -0400</pubDate></item></channel></rss>
