LESSONS FOR CHILDREN: Archive

Every time I get the notification that "Lessons For Children liked your _____", my life becomes a little more awesome. Also, since you're a psychic, would you care to predict my future? Cheers brau 8)

Your future shall contain the following awesomes:

- Batman

- Icecream

- A UNICORN.

Apr 27, 20115 notes

Well, feel free to hit me up with some musical recommendations / do you have a last.fm page? There is also a director with the same name as you. the more you know ~~~~

I don’t, actually! I should get one. Might finally get around to it next week. And yeah, I know the director very well. Not personally, obviously. Old Dutch guy.

Apr 27, 2011

Apr 25, 201116 notes

#Lessons for Children #Andy Dick #Andy Richter

Yes! I found the hugest of huge pears. It's probably about.. 3 times as huge as your average huge pear! Huge.

It’s weird how fascinating I’m finding your pear.

Apr 25, 20115 notes

Please just plug tumblr on live radio, fo' shits and giggles

I will, in half an hour. I promise! I’m going to plug it up so right.

Apr 25, 2011

Which is your favourite Doctor and why?

TV: Either Sylvester McCoy or Tennant. But I do seriously love them all. Somewhat obsessively, if I’m being completely honest.

Big Finish: Colin Baker or Paul McGann. The Big Finish Audio Plays are, when they’re good, on par with (if not better than) the best, most labrynthine Moffat stories.

Apr 25, 2011

I thought I'd join in on the ask box love that you're getting right now. You're cute and you're funny and I think you're really neat.

Thankyou! Mainly for calling me neat. I feel like I’ve just been sucked into an Archie comic, which is seriously one of my all time life goals. Sitting in Pop’s sipping a malted, and someone calls me ‘neat’. So awesome. :D

Apr 25, 2011

hope you don't mind if i polyjuice potion roofie you and steal your success while youre stuck being a hopeless art student. HUZZAH

NEVER! Actually, I’d relish the chance to down some polyjuice. Even the taste of tar, human hair and cock would be worth dealing with.

Apr 25, 2011

hi, your picture's attractive that is all

And your picture is attractive, only in a less easy to define way. Also, hello.

Apr 25, 2011

PAUL VERHOEVEN!

IS MY NAME! WAIT! YOU FOUND A HUGE PEAR?!

Apr 25, 2011

pft, no. it was amazing meeting you guys. Congratulations on the show, I hope to see you again at next years comedy festival. :)

You will! Well, you might. No, no, you definately will. :D

Apr 25, 2011

Apr 25, 201185 notes

Apr 24, 2011

#Lessons for Children

Apr 24, 20117 notes

#Lessons for Children

“The thing I keep banging on about is that he doesn’t know what age he is. He’s lying. How could he know, unless he’s marking it on a wall? He could be 8,000 years old, he could be a million. He has no clue. The calendar will give him no clues.” —Steven Moffat. He’s since confirmed this again on his twitter stream. So if you’re like me (a huge canon nerd) and the whole age thing from The Impossible Astronaut irked you, view it this way: the 200 years thing is probably bang on. But the 900 reboot thing is just vanity/bad memory/an impressive number to hit mortals with.

Apr 24, 201117 notes

#Doctor Who #Steven Moffat #The Impossible Astronaut

If you were an animagus, what animal do you think you'd become? Do you think you'd have the patience to go through with the process of becoming an animagus? Also, congratulations on your face being beautiful.

1) I’d become a sloth. But a fast, awesome sloth. I’m not saying sloths aren’t awesome, I’m just saying I’d be awesomer. So yes, I’d put the time in!

2) Thank my parents. :D

Apr 24, 20111 note

If you can play anything from CAN, Amon Du II or Acid Mothers Temple on Monday, you will be deemed as awesome for bringing in some kraut to everyone's morning!

Wait wait wait wait wait. Are you aware you went and name dropped some of my favourite bands just now? I’ve always wanted to spin something from Tago Mago or Ege Bamyasi on the J’s, but don’t know if I’m allowed!

Apr 24, 20111 note

Someone filmed our MICF show last night! If you have footage, we’re dying to see it!

Apr 22, 2011

#Lords of Luxury #MICF

Did you see the new episode of Fringe? Holy shitcakes was it crazy. I guess that's what you get for naming the episode "Lysergic Acid Diethylamide".

LALALALA! Spoilers! I’ve avoided watching it, mainly because this comedy show is eating my life. When we finish next week I’m going to catch up on my backlog of Fringe and Murder, She Wrote.

Apr 21, 20112 notes

geez how tall r u?

6’2. I also have wings made from cuttlebone and can spew fairy floss, which is pretty sweet.

Apr 21, 20118 notes

Apr 21, 201185 notes

#Lessons for Children

How long will it be before Matt fills the water pistol with something other than water?

I’ve been pushing for urine for four shows now. Maybe I just need to take matters/penis/pistol into my own hands.

Apr 21, 20114 notes

I AM SO JEALOUS YOU ARE SO LUCKY

I’ve genuinely forgotten what these thanks apply to, but I can only assume you’re referring to me winning the Bafta for being ‘Best Awesome’. I humbly accept your praise.

Apr 21, 2011

I don't know why But I got the strangest urge to make fun of you Teleport here now SuperSTD! So I can laugh at you & call you names And clip off some of your chest hair to store in a secret envelope under my bed for a dark cold lonely rainy day... -Jellybones

Nobody is stopping you! Unless they are. In which case UNHAND HER YOU VILLAIN. Also, whilst I would like to be able to teleport, my bones would shatter if I did. So you’d need to have glue ready. Re the hair, I’ll just mail you some, shall I?

Apr 21, 2011

Is there any chance of your radio show ever being turned into a podcast? As a foreign fan, I'm significantly too lazy to awake at the godawful hour that listening would require, but would be extremely gratified if it came in handy-dandy podcast form.

Sadly not; I’d have to have an actual regular show for that to happen! God, that’d be awesome. Keep pushing and emailing peeps and things might just happen!

Apr 21, 2011

You have wrecked my sleeping pattern. No lie.

I am in no way responsible for implanting dreams into your head. OR AM I?

Apr 21, 2011

You are legend. I must bow before you. Thank you for being epic, continue to be epic. Thank you for having this blog which allowed me to stumble upon it. Hello and goodbye

Thankyou. Also, that read like a car crash. Only instead of cars, imagine several haikus. WHAM! Poetry!

Apr 21, 2011

so i found this blog yesterday after trawling the somewhat ambitious (i hope you lose sleep over the fact that it hasn't been updated in like a year) and fell in happy happy love. have listened to you on the j's since robbie marieke and the doctor - you've made many mornings a whole heap better. but i wanted to ask you this: i'm considering doing law next year (if my marks are good enough) but worry about it smooshing my soul into tiny horcrux-y bits. so i was just wondering if luke's soul is still intact after however many years of law or if he's just completely voldemort now?

Hi! Luke is now a souless husk, yes, but that’s mostly due to his staggering meth intake. The law degree sits at his side, useless, like a mangled limb.

Also, it’s always awesome to hear people enjoy my nerd segment, so thanks!

Apr 21, 2011

Breakfast radio.

Ok, so I’m hosting the Breakfast Show on Triple J tomorrow (Good Friday), Monday and Tuesday. There’s also some more to come over the following weeks, but essentially I’d (a) love you to listen in by going here, and (b) I have to go to bed now, on account of the 4am wakeup.

Oh, and also, I’m working on some killer comics right now. I think. So far they’re all shapes and noise and bears and junk.

Apr 21, 20119 notes

#Triple J

Play

Apr 20, 201122 notes

“Triple J radio presenter Paul Verhoeven came third, winning a $1,000 wardrobe from Lee. Paul’s gig hosting the Triple J Weekend Breakfast Show, his fierce sense of humour, and good looks made him a close contender for the crown.” —Cleo Bachelor quote from the Cleo website. FIERCE? I’M FIERCE?! …Oh I am SO fierce.

Apr 20, 201122 notes

Apr 19, 2011232 notes

#Lessons for Children #Hogwarts #Harry Potter

Apr 19, 201134 notes

#Lessons for Children

Apr 19, 201122 notes

#Triple J #Paul Verhoeven #Robbie Marieke and The Doctor

My fairly epic deconstruction of Link, from Legend of Zelda. Likey? → thevine.com.au

Apr 19, 201110 notes

Apr 17, 201131 notes

#Lessons for Children #Pass the Pigs

Apr 17, 201124 notes

#Lessons for Children

paradoxthis:

Apr 17, 201117 notes

I regret nothing.

paradoxthis:

This is why I love tumblr. Friends making gifs of me and Luke.

Apr 17, 201139 notes

#Tramdalf #Paul verhoeven #Luke Ryan

Shittest review ever part two.

coldandhappy-disposition:

“The Lords of Luxury are the kind of guys you’d take home to meet mum, but not necessarily trust to keep you in stitches for an hour.”

“Not necessarily trust to keep you in stitches for an hour.”

“Not necessarily trust to keep you in stitches for an hour.”

“Not necessarily trust to keep you in stitches for an hour.”

Bitch to the please.

~~Have you listened to the mother fucking podcasts? I nearly got kicked off the train because I was laughing to myself so hard.~~

Apr 17, 201116 notes

Apr 16, 2011

#Foursquare #Lessons for Children

A review of the Lords of Luxury show:

coldandhappy-disposition:

Reviewer:

“I’m not the biggest fan of nerdy Triple J presenter Paul Verhoeven.”

“I’m not the biggest fan of nerdy Triple J presenter Paul Verhoeven.”

“I’m not the biggest fan of nerdy Triple J presenter Paul Verhoeven.”

Me:

Apr 16, 201112 notes

Apr 16, 201119 notes

#lessons for children

Hey there! I am Flapjack from The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack. Have you ever watched my show?

I have not! But yor name makes me hard. Flapjacks are delicious and I want one right now. Instead, I shall inhale more coffee. HFFFFNNNNNGGGK

Apr 16, 20114 notes

The highlight of my week is listening to Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind. Just wanted to express my undying love.

Honestly, I’m just replying because you have the best tumblr name ever. EVARRR.

Apr 16, 2011